May 13

May 13, 1996

"Would you like fries with that?"

My first real job was at McDonalds. I started out making shakes then moved up to working the grill. Within a few months I was a night manager and working the counter. Part of my training consisted of my manager sitting me down and explaining how to quickly make change.

What's wrong with these kids today?

Sometime during the last twenty years we quit teaching kids how to count! The girl that takes my money at Burger King consistently messes up. She gets especially flustered when I give her a little bit of change to make her job easier.

Example 1 (Burger King): The bill is $4.89. I give her $5.14. She starts grabbing ones like I'm robbing the place. "Is it OK if I just give you ones instead of fives and tens? It's easier for me to count that way," she says.

"OK," I reply, hoping she won't come to her senses.

She's up to about ten bucks in change before she figures out she's never going to get to $5.14. She puts all the ones back and gives me a nickel. I leave my hand out waiting for her to figure it out. She looks at me, looks at the nickel, looks at me again, and says, "Is that right?"

"Here's your nickel. Just give me a quarter."

"My calculator's broke," she says. Yeah, like it would help.

Example 2 (McDonalds): The bill is $1.39. I give her $1.54. She gives me back twenty cents. We do the exchange-of-glances bit. She can't figure it out. I give her back a dime and ask for a nickel.

Example 3 (Blockbuster Video): The bill is $4.20. I give her $5.25. She gives me a buck. I wait. She says "Thank you, come again." I wait. Finally I tell her "You can just keep the nickel." "Oh, yeah," she says, and finishes giving me my change.

How to Make Change

If you're given an even dollar amount: From the amount of the bill, use dimes then nickels then pennies to get to the nearest $.25. Use quarters to get to the dollar. Subtract the total you're at now from what I gave you and give me that many dollars.
If you're given an amount of coins that's more than the coins in the total (see example 2 above): From the change portion of the bill, use quarters, then dimes, nickels and pennies to get to the amount of change I gave you. Then forget about the coins and give me change for the whole dollar amount that I gave you vs. the whole dollar amount in the total.
If you're given an amount of coins that's less than the coins in the total (see example 1 above): Subtract the coins I gave you from the coin portion of the bill. The remainder is the new amount of the bill. Forget the coins I gave you and use Technique 1 to give me change based on the new amount of the bill and the whole dollar amount I gave you.
If you're given a whole lot of change but it seems to add up to less than the total: I'm low on cash and I'm hoping you won't be able to figure it out. Pretend your calculator's broke, put it all in the drawer, and give me my BK Broiler and medium Sprite. Wish me a nice day.

(Speaking of Burger King… they used to have a number you could call if you had a problem with your order (1-800-1800-YES). They had to shut it down. I guess all they were getting were complaints.)